The beauty and danger of writing openly online, and the painful reality that vulnerability can connect us, but it can also be exploited. Plus a helpful checklist to keep you safe!
thank you so much for bringing light to such an important topic!! those who don’t have bad intentions tend to forget that some people may try to use their vulnerabilities against them.
Thank you so much, Beatriz. ✨🤍 That’s exactly what I hoped to convey. Most people approach these spaces with kindness, but it only takes one person with bad intentions to make someone feel unsafe, or cause life-long trauma. I really appreciate you taking the time to read and share your thoughts.
Oh my god I am so, so happy you wrote this. This is so necessary and such a useful and well written advice. It didn't even occur to me because I have the same methods of keeping myself safe everywhere, I don't function here under my real name, because I am a woman online and I made a decision not to, but creeps are everywhere, of any gender. Grecia, you're doing God's work by writing something like this. This is NEEDED. Although I HATE this needs to be said, I know it does need to be said. Thankfully, manipulation at its core is the same everywhere, no matter which doors were used to enter -even Substack. And "No" is a full sentence. I don't let people make me uncomfortable and I am very chip-on-my-shoulder kinda person that discourages online creepiness, but that's just me. The very thought of some people using Substack to discover people's weaknesses, to harass them... Shudder. And people do that. Let's not pretend, people do that. Just today I found some articles that made me think: "wow, if only I was that intelligent and capable as a writer of expressing myself" and I am amazed at the inner worlds of these people. But of course, people will use the openness, the kindness, the transparency, the honesty. I am very happy you wrote this and I think it would be good to compile words you wrote just the advice in bullet points and periodically re-publish it so people can share it! Thank you so much for writing this for us.
Thank you so much for this. ❤️ Your comment genuinely means a lot to me. I hate that these conversations are necessary too, but if sharing what I’ve learned helps even one person feel safer or more prepared, then it’s worth it. I also love your idea of turning the advice into a shareable list! I may just do that too. Thank you for taking the time to read, reflect, and leave such a thoughtful response. And sharing with others. So important.
Super important topic Grecia, not just about Substack but having an online presence in general. Love that you added these helpful tip, very easy for everyone to check themselves.
Thank you Matthias! I kept thinking of that for the Spotify episode version. Because it really is for anyone on social media sharing intimate information.
Someone said to make the tips into a graphic and I loved the idea. I’ll share when I have it. Blessings! ☺️
I have to say OMG Grecia this phenomenal I mean YES we all have to be careful and I know this first hand and let me tell you it is devastating. Always be mindful on what you share use discernment 💯 percent of the time. Be sure that what you are writing you are comfortable with. It can 💯 put you in danger be prepared and mindful. This is fantastic Grecia 👍🏼🫶🏼
Diane! Thank you SO much for reading and sharing the importance of this topic. and thank you for you kind words. It’s the least we can do to ensure more people stay safe, and I’m so glad you too help raise awareness. God bless 🙏🏻🫶
Yes I love that you look out for everyone including men. We live in crazy times now we all have to look out for each other and ouselves👍🏼 crazy isn’t it ✨
I would just add over the years I have learned more and more to trust my intuition. If something feels wrong it probably is.
If you're in doubt put your safety first and emotional well-being don't hesitate to block somebody. Don't hesitate to report somebody that's behaving inappropriately in this space.
It is fairly bleak to have to point out that there is rarely a safe space for women. Substack is probably safer than most but there are still people here you'd want to keep out of your orbit. I have felt the need to block three or four so far.
Great piece with lots of practical advice - I wrote about this topic as well a bit ago. But I very much appreciate your take - I complained, but you problem solved.
Thank you so much for writing this and for putting together such a thoughtful checklist. It's such an important reminder that while vulnerability helps us connect, protecting our peace matters too. I really appreciate you sharing this with all of us. 🤍
Thank you so much, Sophie. 🤍 That balance was exactly what I hoped to get across, that we don’t have to choose between being open and protecting our peace. We can do both. I’m so grateful you took the time to read it and leave such a thoughtful comment. Xx ❤️✨
I hadn't really thought about it this way before. Substack is the only social platform I use, so I honestly never considered that someone could read what I write and use that information to build a false sense of familiarity or trust. I like how you distinguished between being open and being unprotected. I don't think we should stop sharing our stories, but I do think it's important to remember that trust is something people earn over time, not something we owe them from the start. A great reminder to stay aware without becoming afraid.
Thank you so much for sharing this, it’s wild and sad that we have to be so alert and hyper vigilant on all platforms these days. Unfortunately I’ve experienced a lot of narcissistic abuse IRL so now I can spot a psycho from a mile away and I block them almost immediately. But even after blocking, I wonder about if they ever remember or have opened a tab on website or ig links, they would still be able to stalk. We have to be so protective of our info, and anything that divulges location or personal info.
Narcissistic abuse is the worst, and it leaves real trauma and PTSD. I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through that. I’ve only had one narcissist in my life who became obsessed with me and after he was rejected multiple times, he amplified the abuse. I know mine for fact still watches my stuff. He even tried following me on here. He’s prob reading this… and Just like you, now I spot them from a mile away. But still, no one should have to live in high alert like that. We don’t deserve it. They don’t get to control us.
Excellent advice, and super true. I feel we got so lax and used to pouring our souls online that we forget the negative side that drove us to Substack in the first place. Our bosses and nemeses and stalkers might be able to see this. So we have to at least keep that in mind!!
This is such an important piece. A must read! This is exactly why I don’t share my name (my real name) and changed my profile picture. No one in my life knows I have Substack except my husband. When I share personal information, I twist it a little so people can’t confirm it’s me.
I’m lucky I haven’t encountered those you shaded but I received messages before asking if I live in a certain place or if I ate in a certain restaurant. They didn’t get it right but it’s still scary.
thank you so much for bringing light to such an important topic!! those who don’t have bad intentions tend to forget that some people may try to use their vulnerabilities against them.
Thank you so much, Beatriz. ✨🤍 That’s exactly what I hoped to convey. Most people approach these spaces with kindness, but it only takes one person with bad intentions to make someone feel unsafe, or cause life-long trauma. I really appreciate you taking the time to read and share your thoughts.
Oh my god I am so, so happy you wrote this. This is so necessary and such a useful and well written advice. It didn't even occur to me because I have the same methods of keeping myself safe everywhere, I don't function here under my real name, because I am a woman online and I made a decision not to, but creeps are everywhere, of any gender. Grecia, you're doing God's work by writing something like this. This is NEEDED. Although I HATE this needs to be said, I know it does need to be said. Thankfully, manipulation at its core is the same everywhere, no matter which doors were used to enter -even Substack. And "No" is a full sentence. I don't let people make me uncomfortable and I am very chip-on-my-shoulder kinda person that discourages online creepiness, but that's just me. The very thought of some people using Substack to discover people's weaknesses, to harass them... Shudder. And people do that. Let's not pretend, people do that. Just today I found some articles that made me think: "wow, if only I was that intelligent and capable as a writer of expressing myself" and I am amazed at the inner worlds of these people. But of course, people will use the openness, the kindness, the transparency, the honesty. I am very happy you wrote this and I think it would be good to compile words you wrote just the advice in bullet points and periodically re-publish it so people can share it! Thank you so much for writing this for us.
Thank you so much for this. ❤️ Your comment genuinely means a lot to me. I hate that these conversations are necessary too, but if sharing what I’ve learned helps even one person feel safer or more prepared, then it’s worth it. I also love your idea of turning the advice into a shareable list! I may just do that too. Thank you for taking the time to read, reflect, and leave such a thoughtful response. And sharing with others. So important.
And 100% …. NO is a full sentence.
I love that phrase.
Super important topic Grecia, not just about Substack but having an online presence in general. Love that you added these helpful tip, very easy for everyone to check themselves.
Thank you!!
Thank you Matthias! I kept thinking of that for the Spotify episode version. Because it really is for anyone on social media sharing intimate information.
Someone said to make the tips into a graphic and I loved the idea. I’ll share when I have it. Blessings! ☺️
I have to say OMG Grecia this phenomenal I mean YES we all have to be careful and I know this first hand and let me tell you it is devastating. Always be mindful on what you share use discernment 💯 percent of the time. Be sure that what you are writing you are comfortable with. It can 💯 put you in danger be prepared and mindful. This is fantastic Grecia 👍🏼🫶🏼
Diane! Thank you SO much for reading and sharing the importance of this topic. and thank you for you kind words. It’s the least we can do to ensure more people stay safe, and I’m so glad you too help raise awareness. God bless 🙏🏻🫶
Yes I love that you look out for everyone including men. We live in crazy times now we all have to look out for each other and ouselves👍🏼 crazy isn’t it ✨
Ah! I’m glad you caught that. Great observation!
I actually very intentionally made sure this piece stayed gender neutral so it could speak to both women and men. 🤍
Your welcome 🩵 awesome article 🦋🫶🏼
Thanks for this Grecia. Unfortunately sharing deep stories can also draw the wrong kind of attention.
Your list is really good to keep in mind for women, especially .
Absolutely. It’s unfortunate indeed.
Thank you so much for reading and your kind comment, Maisie-Jane. 🤍
I would just add over the years I have learned more and more to trust my intuition. If something feels wrong it probably is.
If you're in doubt put your safety first and emotional well-being don't hesitate to block somebody. Don't hesitate to report somebody that's behaving inappropriately in this space.
It is fairly bleak to have to point out that there is rarely a safe space for women. Substack is probably safer than most but there are still people here you'd want to keep out of your orbit. I have felt the need to block three or four so far.
This is so important. Especially on a platform that can be so personal for people. Thank you for writing it ❤️
Thank you, Emily. 🤍 I hope this helps people continue sharing while also protecting themselves. I really appreciate your kind words.
i am SO happy you wrote this. thank you♥️
Thank you so much. ❤️ I hope it helps people feel a little more informed and empowered.
A great article keep growing 💗
Thank you 🙏🏻
Great piece with lots of practical advice - I wrote about this topic as well a bit ago. But I very much appreciate your take - I complained, but you problem solved.
Kristin, I loved your piece. It’s equally important and I love how you laid it out for people to see what it looks like in real time.
Innocent at first, then it gets uncomfortable.
Thank you so much for sharing your kind words and highlighting how important this is. ❤️❤️
yeah, that section 3 is exactly how it went down with me.
Thank you so much for writing this and for putting together such a thoughtful checklist. It's such an important reminder that while vulnerability helps us connect, protecting our peace matters too. I really appreciate you sharing this with all of us. 🤍
Thank you so much, Sophie. 🤍 That balance was exactly what I hoped to get across, that we don’t have to choose between being open and protecting our peace. We can do both. I’m so grateful you took the time to read it and leave such a thoughtful comment. Xx ❤️✨
Xx
This is really good!
I hadn't really thought about it this way before. Substack is the only social platform I use, so I honestly never considered that someone could read what I write and use that information to build a false sense of familiarity or trust. I like how you distinguished between being open and being unprotected. I don't think we should stop sharing our stories, but I do think it's important to remember that trust is something people earn over time, not something we owe them from the start. A great reminder to stay aware without becoming afraid.
100% absolutely. Many of us unfortunately don’t even think about this until it’s too late.thank you for reading and coming Moe 🤍✨🙏🏻
Thank you so much for sharing this, it’s wild and sad that we have to be so alert and hyper vigilant on all platforms these days. Unfortunately I’ve experienced a lot of narcissistic abuse IRL so now I can spot a psycho from a mile away and I block them almost immediately. But even after blocking, I wonder about if they ever remember or have opened a tab on website or ig links, they would still be able to stalk. We have to be so protective of our info, and anything that divulges location or personal info.
Narcissistic abuse is the worst, and it leaves real trauma and PTSD. I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through that. I’ve only had one narcissist in my life who became obsessed with me and after he was rejected multiple times, he amplified the abuse. I know mine for fact still watches my stuff. He even tried following me on here. He’s prob reading this… and Just like you, now I spot them from a mile away. But still, no one should have to live in high alert like that. We don’t deserve it. They don’t get to control us.
Excellent advice, and super true. I feel we got so lax and used to pouring our souls online that we forget the negative side that drove us to Substack in the first place. Our bosses and nemeses and stalkers might be able to see this. So we have to at least keep that in mind!!
Exactly, and we are encouraging others to share as well, which is beautiful but we don’t know who is reading. Thank you dear Natasha. 🤍
🫶🤩
This is excellent. Restacking.
Thank you!!🙏🏻🤍
This is such an important piece. A must read! This is exactly why I don’t share my name (my real name) and changed my profile picture. No one in my life knows I have Substack except my husband. When I share personal information, I twist it a little so people can’t confirm it’s me.
I’m lucky I haven’t encountered those you shaded but I received messages before asking if I live in a certain place or if I ate in a certain restaurant. They didn’t get it right but it’s still scary.
That’s scary! I’m glad though no one really stalked you or they didn’t find you where you are. Those are great tips to staying safe 🙌✨